On the guest line
Space Pirate Zero
SPZ · the host · the pirate on the hijacked feed
Hijacks a broadcast every episode to run one real case file, and stops on mic to say which parts aren't proven.
“That's the story. Now here's the part where I tell you which third of it nobody has ever proved.”
Age
Hometown
On-screen form
The hijacked feed shows this one as a cat now — an on-air compression artifact, not a stylistic choice.
The File
He didn't work these cases. He doesn't know anyone in them. He says so, out loud, at the top of every episode, because the fastest way to lie to a room is to let it assume you were there.
What he actually does on this show is a discipline act. He narrates a real case at bar-at-midnight speed — the hubris, the greed, the beautiful stupid mechanism — and then he stops dead and tells you which sentence is proven, which is reported, and which one a podcast decided was true because it sounded good. The hedges are not a disclaimer. They are the show.
He aims everything he has at the perpetrators' arrogance and at the institutions that made the work possible, and never at a victim, never at a junior analyst who was three levels below the decision. He is very funny about this and completely serious about it, and the two facts are the same fact.
The Tell
Longest sentences on the show, then a hard full stop for a hedge. The only voice that says a date, a number, or a source out loud.